when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
