New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
