Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
