Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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