just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
