i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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