Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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