I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
