You smell like a Billy Joel song
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
