They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
