Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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