Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
