Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
