Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
