Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
