We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
