38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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