Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Randomize
