I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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