I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Everyone says I win the strip club
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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