I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
