you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
