when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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