I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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