Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
