I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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