Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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