have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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