I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
