Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
