My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
