Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
She has the best kind of daddy issues
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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