this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
