Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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