Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
