Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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