They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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