I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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