No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
