OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
