Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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