even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
