They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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