Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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