Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
