dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
