oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
