i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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