ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
