Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
