I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
