why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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