so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
