I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
