Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
