this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
this is an emotional support booty call
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
